I promise not to tell you that it’s because they like you.
when the teachers call home to tell me that
you pushed them to the ground after you
I’ll take you out of school early and buy
you your favorite ice cream.
when you get older and the boys
try to touch you when you don’t want to be touched
I’ll look at you like the sun when you come home
with anger in your fists.
they all tell you not to fight fire with fire
but that is only because they are afraid of your flames.
when the boys yell after you like hyenas
you yell back, baby.
I will not teach you to be afraid of your anger
so that you look for it in others.
I will not make you be the better person
because you already are.
you wanna fight ‘em? fight ‘em.
don’t you dare apologize for the fierce love
you have for yourself
and the lengths you go to preserve it.
when the boys try to tell you to soften up
I hope you make them bleed with your edges.
I hope you remember that you are not theirs
that their disappointment in you is not yours.
when the boys come to your door with pretty words and
I hope you show them the anger in yours.
I hope you show them just how strong your mommy
thinks you are.
I hope you show them the animal they can’t always
see in their own reflection.
when the boys come with the intention of hurting you
my advice will always stay the same, my darling:
give ‘em hell.
when the boys come | Caitlyn S. (via friendzonked)
And after all this time I am still alone, on my bedroom floor, fighting with a razor blade.
Some things never change.
Each one of my limbs weighs one hundred pounds. My chest is on the verge of collapsing into itself. Every movement is heavy, every breath exhausting. I don’t ask for the sadness to leave. It wouldn’t listen anyway. There is nothing to do but sit and wait. They say to make yourself look larger when confronted with a bear. Sadness is not a bear; it is a snake. Once you’ve been bitten, the venom penetrates every inch of your body until you wish there was nothing left of you. I make myself as small as possible, clutching my legs to my chest. Minimize existence, minimize pain.